Extremely lightweight comedy about a two-time felon trying to avoid a Third Strike. It’s not as easy as Rob Douglas (Brian Hooks) thinks, as his career criminal buddies keep trying to draw him over to the wrong side of the law. Having just been released from prison, Douglas makes every effort to stay clean, knowing that one more strike could send him away for a very long time. His mettle is immediately tested when he’s picked up from prison by a friend from the hood driving a stolen car. It all goes downhill from there, involving poor Douglas in a number of close calls and supposedly humorous side trips. N’Bushe Wright plays his bitch of a girlfriend, while Starletta DuPois and George Wallace are fine as his parents. David Allen Grier is wasted as a local police detective hot on Douglas’ trail. The dialogue is mostly flat and unfunny, while the performers do their best to make something out of nothing. (MGM)

DETERRENCE (R)

Riveting drama from former film critic turned writer-director Rod Lurie. Lurie creates an intense, claustrophobic thriller set in the all too real near future. Kevin Pollak delivers a dynamic performance as U.S. President Walter Emerson, on the 2008 Campaign trail in Colorado. When a violent snowstorm prevents them from leaving, Emerson and entourage seek shelter in a small diner in Aztec. Eager to meet the public after having taken office after the death of his predecessor, Emerson uses the opportunity to do a little down home campaigning. All that changes when news reaches them that Uday Hussein, Saddam’s son, has invaded Kuwait with plans to launch a weapons attack on Israel. With the help of satellite hook-ups, Emerson and his staff stay on top of the crisis. Aware that most of the U.S. troops are engaged elsewhere and with his back against a wall, Emerson does the extreme. He threatens Iraq with a nuclear attack. Lurie does a fascinating job with this chamber piece, creating immense suspense from words and reactions. Like the characters, we’re trapped inside the diner with Emerson. Pollak is really good as the new President who needs to display some backbone. Timothy Hutton shows real understanding as his Chief of Staff, while Sheryl Lee Ralph is gutsy as the National Security Advisor. Lurie has stocked the diner with a gallery of common characters, all well portrayed. (Paramount)

DISH DOGS (R)

Much ado about nothing, another coming-of-age story that goes nowhere fast. Sean Astin and Matthew Lillard play Morgan and Jason, a pair of life’s losers who hit the road looking for the meaning of life. Good luck. The road trip is nothing more than a lame excuse to introduce the boys and us to a series of weird, eccentric and off-beat characters. Insignificant in it’s contribution to the genre, the film is neither engaging or entertaining. What a waste of talent. Teen fave Shannon Elizabeth shows up as a stripper, but she obviously filmed this before she developed her acting chops. She’s no worse than the rest of the gang, especially Lillard, who really grates on your nerves. The dialogue attempts to be brave and insightful, but is nothing more than rehashed cliches delivered with the tenacity of someone on Quaaludes. (Trimark)

EAST SIDAZ, THE (R)

Conventional, direct-to-video blaxploitation effort stars rapper Snoop Dogg as Killa Pop, a player looking to get out of the gang thing to concentrate on his music. All he needs is one more score to make ends meet, but winds us being double-crossed by his power hungry assistant. Behind bars and framed for a crime he didn’t commit, Killa Pop plots his revenge against the ex-friend who put him away. It’s all rather ho-hum, delivered with the conviction of a white rap song. The production values are extremely low, while the performances are ordinary and undistinguished. In his first starring role, Dogg does have presence, but he’s not very interesting. He lacks the skills as an actor to become the character. He just says the lines and hopes his hair looks good. (Xenon)

GIRL (R)

Another coming-of-age story, this one told from the chick’s point of view. This one stars Dominique Swain as Andrea Marr, an eighteen-year-old honor student fresh out of high school. With one summer left before she heads off to school, Andrea decides that being a good girl isn’t good at all. She wants a little action, and seeks it on the wrong side of the tracks. There she meets the lead singer of an underground band, and decides that he’s the guy to make all of her womanly dreams come true. It’s not long before Andrea is acting the part, turning on her friends and parents and becoming a free spirit. Unfortunately, we’ve seen it all before, and with more conviction. This is the kind of mindless crap that the WB does best, superficial teen angst with enough faux philosophy to gag a sperm whale. It’s not cool, it’s not hip, it’s just more of the same. Swain manages some sympathy, but not nearly as much as when she played the child vixen in the remake of “Lolita.” (Columbia-TriStar)

HELD UP (R)

Comedian Jamie Foxx is fine, but “Help Up” plays and sounds like an extended “In Living Colour” sketch. Ten minutes would have been funny. An hour-and-a-half really stretches the material thin, and even though Foxx is game, the script is not. Foxx plays Mike Dawson, who is headed with his fiancee Rae (Nia Long) to the Grand Canyon for a much needed vacation. His plans for a little rest and relaxation come to a halt when Rae learns that he spent their savings on an antique car. Upset, Rae ditches Mike at a convenience store and heads to Las Vegas. Desperate to win her back, Mike walks into the convenience store to make a call and winds up being held hostage during a botched robbery. As Rae waits patiently at the airport bar for Mike to come to her rescue, Mike desperately tries to negotiate with the robber so he can catch up with Rae. It’s only a matter of time before all sorts of off-beat characters get into the act, and while they do provide some local color, most of them are so thinly drawn they become nothing more than padding. Foxx is truly funny, but he’s not given much opportunity here to prove that. Long is fine as Rae, but she’s underused. Look for “Airplane” star Julie Hagerty as the airport bartender. (Trimark)

I DREAMED OF AFRICA (PG-13)

Kenya and Kim Basinger have never looked better, you just wish both of them were in a better film. Based on the true life adventures of Kuki Gallmann, a young divorced woman who leaves the comforts of her family home in Italy and moves to Africa. Inspired by the romantic ideology of her future husband, Kuki, who has always wanted to see Africa, defies her snobbish mother and moves her son to Kenya. Kenya is the 1970s was a very dangerous place, as Kuki soon learns. When she’s not busy fighting off wild animals from her farm, she’s fighting with the poachers. Basinger is okay but not nearly soulful enough to play a woman of such depth. Her performance is all superficial, a Hollywood version of a real person. It doesn’t help that the director frames her like a movie star instead of a woman fighting against all odds to keep her family together. The scenery is gorgeous, and occasionally Basinger and Perez as her often absent husband engage in some banter that doesn’t sound forced. Most of the drama is melodrama, while the action and adventure are all manufactured to deliver the ultimate reaction. That makes it difficult to really care about the characters. Wearing you heart on your sleeve is one thing, waving it around with flares is another. (Columbia-TriStar)

NEXT BEST THING, THE (PG-13)

A real stinker with Madonna and Rupert Everett fighting over who can camp it up the most. It’s a toss up. They play long time friends who come together to mourn the passing a mutual friend and end up sleeping together. The joke is that he’s gay, and she’s fed up with men. The kicker is that she becomes pregnant with his child. Ah, the stuff of made-for-Lifetime cable movies. While both Madonna and Everett have been better, the real embarrassment here is that this dreary exercise in half-wit comedy came from director John Schlesinger. The script, which Everett bragged about rewriting, is filled with obvious observations and jokes. The performers do little to make it their own, going through the motion with very little emotion. Even the standard payoffs seem shortchanged, as though no one believed in the material enough to give it more than a moment’s notice. When the usual complications arise, they’re so flat and thin you could make origami out of them. (Paramount)

SUPERNOVA (R)

A real mess of a movie, an expensive science-fiction thriller with bankable stars that self-destruct almost immediately. It’s hard to know where to point the finger of shame. The film’s director, Walter Hill, demanded to have his name removed from the film when it was cut against his wishes. What emerges is a film that makes no sense, one that thrives on tired cliches and uninspired performances. Farting around in the middle of deep space is the medical emergency rescue ship Nightingale. On board are the Captain (Robert Forster), the medical officer (Angela Bassett), a variety of crewmen (including Lou Diamond Phillips and Robin Tunney), and new co-pilot Nick Vanzant (James Spader, looking extremely buff). Nick couldn’t have arrived at a worse time. Even before he can settle in, the Nightingale is summoned to a far away galaxy to rescue a mining expedition. Getting there means going through a dimension jump, an expedient process that can prove extremely dangerous. Of course something goes horribly wrong (the captain melds with his chamber), and things only get worse when the only survivor turns out to be harboring an alien force. yeah, I know, been there, done that. When it was released in theaters, “Supernova” was rated PG-13. A fair amount of nudity and gore has been put back into the mix, but it’s not enough to make the film come alive. The dialogue is trite, the performances bland, and the special effects common. The film’s ultimate message is a real hoot. (MGM)

© 2000 The Writer’s Bloc®

3 STRIKES (R)

Extremely lightweight comedy about a two-time felon trying to avoid a Third Strike. It’s not as easy as Rob Douglas (Brian Hooks) thinks, as his career criminal buddies keep trying to draw him over to the wrong side of the law. Having just been released from prison, Douglas makes every effort to stay clean, knowing that one more strike could send him away for a very long time. His mettle is immediately tested when he’s picked up from prison by a friend from the hood driving a stolen car. It all goes downhill from there, involving poor Douglas in a number of close calls and supposedly humorous side trips. N’Bushe Wright plays his bitch of a girlfriend, while Starletta DuPois and George Wallace are fine as his parents. David Allen Grier is wasted as a local police detective hot on Douglas’ trail. The dialogue is mostly flat and unfunny, while the performers do their best to make something out of nothing. (MGM)

DETERRENCE (R)

Riveting drama from former film critic turned writer-director Rod Lurie. Lurie creates an intense, claustrophobic thriller set in the all too real near future. Kevin Pollak delivers a dynamic performance as U.S. President Walter Emerson, on the 2008 Campaign trail in Colorado. When a violent snowstorm prevents them from leaving, Emerson and entourage seek shelter in a small diner in Aztec. Eager to meet the public after having taken office after the death of his predecessor, Emerson uses the opportunity to do a little down home campaigning. All that changes when news reaches them that Uday Hussein, Saddam’s son, has invaded Kuwait with plans to launch a weapons attack on Israel. With the help of satellite hook-ups, Emerson and his staff stay on top of the crisis. Aware that most of the U.S. troops are engaged elsewhere and with his back against a wall, Emerson does the extreme. He threatens Iraq with a nuclear attack. Lurie does a fascinating job with this chamber piece, creating immense suspense from words and reactions. Like the characters, we’re trapped inside the diner with Emerson. Pollak is really good as the new President who needs to display some backbone. Timothy Hutton shows real understanding as his Chief of Staff, while Sheryl Lee Ralph is gutsy as the National Security Advisor. Lurie has stocked the diner with a gallery of common characters, all well portrayed. (Paramount)

DISH DOGS (R)

Much ado about nothing, another coming-of-age story that goes nowhere fast. Sean Astin and Matthew Lillard play Morgan and Jason, a pair of life’s losers who hit the road looking for the meaning of life. Good luck. The road trip is nothing more than a lame excuse to introduce the boys and us to a series of weird, eccentric and off-beat characters. Insignificant in it’s contribution to the genre, the film is neither engaging or entertaining. What a waste of talent. Teen fave Shannon Elizabeth shows up as a stripper, but she obviously filmed this before she developed her acting chops. She’s no worse than the rest of the gang, especially Lillard, who really grates on your nerves. The dialogue attempts to be brave and insightful, but is nothing more than rehashed cliches delivered with the tenacity of someone on Quaaludes. (Trimark)

EAST SIDAZ, THE (R)

Conventional, direct-to-video blaxploitation effort stars rapper Snoop Dogg as Killa Pop, a player looking to get out of the gang thing to concentrate on his music. All he needs is one more score to make ends meet, but winds us being double-crossed by his power hungry assistant. Behind bars and framed for a crime he didn’t commit, Killa Pop plots his revenge against the ex-friend who put him away. It’s all rather ho-hum, delivered with the conviction of a white rap song. The production values are extremely low, while the performances are ordinary and undistinguished. In his first starring role, Dogg does have presence, but he’s not very interesting. He lacks the skills as an actor to become the character. He just says the lines and hopes his hair looks good. (Xenon)

GIRL (R)

Another coming-of-age story, this one told from the chick’s point of view. This one stars Dominique Swain as Andrea Marr, an eighteen-year-old honor student fresh out of high school. With one summer left before she heads off to school, Andrea decides that being a good girl isn’t good at all. She wants a little action, and seeks it on the wrong side of the tracks. There she meets the lead singer of an underground band, and decides that he’s the guy to make all of her womanly dreams come true. It’s not long before Andrea is acting the part, turning on her friends and parents and becoming a free spirit. Unfortunately, we’ve seen it all before, and with more conviction. This is the kind of mindless crap that the WB does best, superficial teen angst with enough faux philosophy to gag a sperm whale. It’s not cool, it’s not hip, it’s just more of the same. Swain manages some sympathy, but not nearly as much as when she played the child vixen in the remake of “Lolita.” (Columbia-TriStar)

HELD UP (R)

Comedian Jamie Foxx is fine, but “Help Up” plays and sounds like an extended “In Living Colour” sketch. Ten minutes would have been funny. An hour-and-a-half really stretches the material thin, and even though Foxx is game, the script is not. Foxx plays Mike Dawson, who is headed with his fiancee Rae (Nia Long) to the Grand Canyon for a much needed vacation. His plans for a little rest and relaxation come to a halt when Rae learns that he spent their savings on an antique car. Upset, Rae ditches Mike at a convenience store and heads to Las Vegas. Desperate to win her back, Mike walks into the convenience store to make a call and winds up being held hostage during a botched robbery. As Rae waits patiently at the airport bar for Mike to come to her rescue, Mike desperately tries to negotiate with the robber so he can catch up with Rae. It’s only a matter of time before all sorts of off-beat characters get into the act, and while they do provide some local color, most of them are so thinly drawn they become nothing more than padding. Foxx is truly funny, but he’s not given much opportunity here to prove that. Long is fine as Rae, but she’s underused. Look for “Airplane” star Julie Hagerty as the airport bartender. (Trimark)

I DREAMED OF AFRICA (PG-13)

Kenya and Kim Basinger have never looked better, you just wish both of them were in a better film. Based on the true life adventures of Kuki Gallmann, a young divorced woman who leaves the comforts of her family home in Italy and moves to Africa. Inspired by the romantic ideology of her future husband, Kuki, who has always wanted to see Africa, defies her snobbish mother and moves her son to Kenya. Kenya is the 1970s was a very dangerous place, as Kuki soon learns. When she’s not busy fighting off wild animals from her farm, she’s fighting with the poachers. Basinger is okay but not nearly soulful enough to play a woman of such depth. Her performance is all superficial, a Hollywood version of a real person. It doesn’t help that the director frames her like a movie star instead of a woman fighting against all odds to keep her family together. The scenery is gorgeous, and occasionally Basinger and Perez as her often absent husband engage in some banter that doesn’t sound forced. Most of the drama is melodrama, while the action and adventure are all manufactured to deliver the ultimate reaction. That makes it difficult to really care about the characters. Wearing you heart on your sleeve is one thing, waving it around with flares is another. (Columbia-TriStar)

NEXT BEST THING, THE (PG-13)

A real stinker with Madonna and Rupert Everett fighting over who can camp it up the most. It’s a toss up. They play long time friends who come together to mourn the passing a mutual friend and end up sleeping together. The joke is that he’s gay, and she’s fed up with men. The kicker is that she becomes pregnant with his child. Ah, the stuff of made-for-Lifetime cable movies. While both Madonna and Everett have been better, the real embarrassment here is that this dreary exercise in half-wit comedy came from director John Schlesinger. The script, which Everett bragged about rewriting, is filled with obvious observations and jokes. The performers do little to make it their own, going through the motion with very little emotion. Even the standard payoffs seem shortchanged, as though no one believed in the material enough to give it more than a moment’s notice. When the usual complications arise, they’re so flat and thin you could make origami out of them. (Paramount)

SUPERNOVA (R)

A real mess of a movie, an expensive science-fiction thriller with bankable stars that self-destruct almost immediately. It’s hard to know where to point the finger of shame. The film’s director, Walter Hill, demanded to have his name removed from the film when it was cut against his wishes. What emerges is a film that makes no sense, one that thrives on tired cliches and uninspired performances. Farting around in the middle of deep space is the medical emergency rescue ship Nightingale. On board are the Captain (Robert Forster), the medical officer (Angela Bassett), a variety of crewmen (including Lou Diamond Phillips and Robin Tunney), and new co-pilot Nick Vanzant (James Spader, looking extremely buff). Nick couldn’t have arrived at a worse time. Even before he can settle in, the Nightingale is summoned to a far away galaxy to rescue a mining expedition. Getting there means going through a dimension jump, an expedient process that can prove extremely dangerous. Of course something goes horribly wrong (the captain melds with his chamber), and things only get worse when the only survivor turns out to be harboring an alien force. yeah, I know, been there, done that. When it was released in theaters, “Supernova” was rated PG-13. A fair amount of nudity and gore has been put back into the mix, but it’s not enough to make the film come alive. The dialogue is trite, the performances bland, and the special effects common. The film’s ultimate message is a real hoot. (MGM)

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