Before I begin, It must be noted that I have nothing against “white trash.” It’s not a term I generally use, but coming from a questionable lineage I feel I can use the term without prejudice. While I’ve never lived in a trailer, I have several relatives who do.

My mother’s side of the family comes from Louisiana. We’re direct descendants of Huey Long. Now all of my mother’s side of the family lives in Arkansas. While none of them have had their mobile home carried off by a tornado, the family has suffered through some messy “white trash” issues. I wouldn’t dare point fingers, but I can guarantee that some of my relatives are related in more ways than one. While I don’t revel in white trash, I don’t mind watching others do so. Perhaps that is why television talk shows are so popular. “White trash” is exactly the reason why Jerry Springer is so popular.

Now understand when I say “white trash” I’m not talking race specific. “White trash” is a lifestyle, not a race thing. People of every race, sex, age and background can be “white trash.” I’m not picking on trailer park inhabitants either. “White Trash” can survive anywhere. The term has nothing to do with economic stature. I know people who make a great deal of money who flaunt their white trash lifestyle. They have no shame. Which is why they make great guests on “Jerry Springer.” They’re willing to say and do anything just for that badge of honor that says they made an ass of themselves on television.

Sometimes they say and do things that do beyond the realm of broadcast television, and that is where this new DVD from Real Biz comes in. Have you every watched the Springer show and felt frustrated by the fuzzy blurs hiding some woman’s breasts or the constant bleeps you just know are not compliments? “Jerry Springer Show: Too Hot for TV! 2000” is a compilation of all of those hot and juicy moments you would never see on television. The first Jerry Springer “Too Hot” collection on tape sold millions, and now DVD owners can get in on the action. The compilation is pretty much what you would expect.

It’s 65 minutes filled with knock down, drag out fights, profane screaming matches and lots and lots of breasts. The DVD is broken up into 26 chapters with titles like “You Won’t Ruin My Relationship” and “I’m Pregnant by a Transsexual.” While it’s a little disconcerting seeing these moments taken out of context, the collection plays like an extended freak show music video. It’s amazing how much white trash content they managed to fit into 65 minutes. Personally, I found every minute of it hilarious.

Watch this DVD and then tell me you don’t feel good about your life. It’s always fun watching other people make fools of themselves, and this collection of guests is the equivalent of a train wreck. You can’t help but slow down and take a look. You can’t feel sorry for any of the guests because their footage wouldn’t appear here if they didn’t sign a waiver. They don’t care. They just want to extend their fifteen minutes of fame a little longer. Give them a hand by giving this DVD a spin.

COMPLETE CHECK-UP

VISION: [ X ] 20/20 [ ] Good [ ] Cataracts [ ] Blind

The images, delivered in their original 1.33:1 format, were shot on video so the transfer looks pretty much like what you would expect. Nice colors and flesh tones, but not much depth.

HEARING: [ ] Excellent [ X ] Minor Hearing Loss [ ] Needs Hearing Aid [ ] Deaf

The soundtrack is weak, forcing me to crank up the sound system to hear the dialogue. The packaging says that the soundtrack is in stereo, but I found very little stereo signal. Then again, does it really matter on a DVD like this? As long as you can hear the dialogue, you’re fine.

ORAL: [ ] Excellent [ ] Good [ X ] Poor

Right, like you were expecting closed captions or subtitles? Get real.

COORDINATION: [ ] Excellent [ X ] Good [ ] Clumsy [ ] Weak

Standard issue main and scene access menus, plus an interview with Jerry Springer.

PROGNOSIS: [ X ] Excellent [ ] Fit [ ] Will Live [ ] Resuscitate [ ] Terminal

If you’re a fan of the Jerry Springer Show, then you owe it to yourself to pick up a copy of “Welcome to the Hellennium“

VITALS: $24.98/Not Rated/65 Minutes/Color/26 Chapter Stops/Keepcase/#6514

ATTENDING RESIDENT: John Larsen

PATIENT: JERRY SPRINGER – TOO HOT FOR TV! 2000

BIRTH DATE: 1999

HMO: Real Biz

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