BEAUTIFUL CREATURES (R)

Deliciously dark crime comedy about two women who take life’s lemons and make lemonade. Dorothy (Susan Lynch) and Petula (Rachel Weisz) are two women with dubious taste in men. Dorothy dates a bonehead who constantly threatens to kill her, while Petula dates a thug who has no problem venting his anger with physical abuse. When Petula’s boyfriend begins to wail on her on evening, Dorothy comes to her rescue, nailing him on the head with a steel pipe. The act of bravery kills the boyfriend, forcing the women to form a bond to stay out of jail. First they decide to make the death look like an accident, but when that fails, Petula dreams up a kidnaping scheme with a handsome ransom. Director Bill Eagles has a lot of fun with the dark elements of the script, piling on one outrageous coincidence after another. Things really get out of hand when a crooked police detective and Dorothy’s loutish boyfriend get in on the scheme. Lots of fun. (Universal)

DEAD SEXY (R)

My God. How many times are they going to make this movie? Direct-to-video erotic thrillers are a dime a dozen, and this one gives back change. “Dead Sexy” is so familiar and mundane that the only reason to watch it is to see the soft core flesh on display. Genre star Shannon Tweed (she’s already done dozens of these) plays the hard boiled, gorgeous detective McBain, hot on the trail of a serial killer preying on high-class hookers. Don’t expect much of a plot, just another attempt to connect the dots without completely insulting the audience. (Columbia-TriStar)

MUMMY RETURNS, THE (PG-13)The summer movie season gets off to an inauspicious start with the release of “The Mummy Returns,” a loud and annoying sequel to the 1999 remake. Believing that bigger is better, director- writer Stephen Sommers throws money hand over fist at the screen, hoping that audiences won’t notice that the script sucks. Indeed, “The Mummy Returns” is spectacle at its best and worst. More money buys bigger special effects, but it doesn’t buy common sense. Every time someone opens their mouth in “The Mummy Returns,” you cringe. The dialogue is old and dusty. It seems ancient, especially when director Sommers feels he’s sending up the genre rather than reducing it to embarrassing lows. The first “Mummy” was a much better film, possibly because it was a horror film more than an adventure. “The Mummy Returns” wanders into “Indiana Jones” territory, and the comparisons are obvious. Maybe Sommers thought he had exhausted all of the horror elements of the story, but turning the franchise into an all-out adventure film is a big mistake. It looks and sounds generic. (Universal) Please click title for complete review.

TREMORS 3: BACK TO PERFECTION (PG-13)

Pleasantly diverting sequel to the sequel of the giant worm film starring Fred Ward and Kevin Bacon. Ward and Bacon are gone, but original co-star Michael Gross is back on board as survival expert Burt Gummer, now the only person standing between the small town of Perfection and the man-eating Shreikers turned Graboids. When Burt returns home from the South American adventure of the second film, he’s dismayed to learn that Perfection has become even more of a tourist trap. Perfect time for a new breed of Graboids to pop up, forcing Burt and a rag tag group of townsfolk to man their battle stations. While the special effects aren’t as strong as in the original, the continuing tale of Perfection and its battle against man eating giant worms is welcome. There’s a broad sense of humor (ass blasters anyone?) and enough originality in this entry for fans of the series to take a look. (Universal)

WHITE RIVER (R)

Confusing comedy-drama starring Bob Hoskins and Antonio Banderas as a con man and his associate who travel around Arkansas selling “socks for God.” Hoskins plays Brother Edgar, a fake monk who preys on people’s weaknesses and only uses the word of the Bible to get out of a tight corner. Banderas plays Morales, an illegal immigrant who has big dreams but finds himself indebted to Edgar. Their lives take an unexpected turn when they bump into the White River kid (Wes Bentley), an alleged serial killer on the run from the law. This hybrid of “Paper Moon” and other Depression era films from director Arne Glimcher (“The Mambo Kings”) never finds its focus. It’s all over the place, a combination road trip/character study that never gels. It’s hard to take most of the acting seriously, while the offbeat characters feel more like escapees from situation comedies than a real slice of life. A waste of talent. (Columbia-TriStar)

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